Hello again. Right now I'm sitting on another leather chair in a dimly lit room, only this time it is a couch and I am about to watch the recently released film Robin Hood.
Also, I am, again, running into this blog head-on with nothing particular to say.
First, a sad tale in my life...
Krissy and I dated until September 28th 2 years ago. Up until a couple weeks later, I thought we were still friends. Then she deleted me off all the social networking sites we had together, yadda yadda...Halloween came around. I thought for sure there would be a Maeser party. But nothing happened. My sisters Ashley and Alex joined me in going to The Harvest restaurant (Ashley worked there), where we all got discounted desserts. It was a very lonely Halloween. No party or trick-or-treating. Sitting at the restaurant was literally all I did. The next day, there were photos on Facebook showing everyone at Maeser partying at Krissy's. That cut me pretty deep. That was the nail in the coffin. Worst Halloween ever.
I guess part of this was to show the pain Krissy put me through, even though I know some of you hate me for it. I'm mostly over it. I think if we ever met face to face, I'd try and say hello before she hit me, walked away or screamed at me. My legs would lock up and tremble, as well is my lips. I don't know what would happen.
But the larger reason for this is that I can never let any of my friends have a bad Halloween, like I did. In the sense of having it alone, anyway.
Crap. Now what?
Ah. I asked for a camera for my birthday. I wish I looked at cameras before I asked for one, because that's a really broad item to get. Found a particular one with a lot of features I would love playing with. Maybe I'll get it someday. Anyway, I think I would like to take pictures. For a small hobby, you know. Sometimes I walk into a room, and I suddenly wish I had a camera in my hand ready to take a picture. Small things. Small settings. Maybe pictures of myself. I don't have any of those.
I saw Robin Hood a while ago. I think there was a prerequisite I invented after seeing it that you needed to have in order to enjoy it which was similar to the one I made up about the new Alice in Wonderland, which I totally failed to enjoy, but I liked Robin Hood just fine.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this is a great way to write a post, unless your blog is supposed to be about a specific thing, which all the most interesting blogs aren't (as if I would know).
I really really wish that I had the guts to still go trick-or-treating. I keep telling myself that I'm too old, people will tell me, "Aren't you too old to be trick-or-treating?", I'll just feel really awkward sandwiched in between two large groups of small children who are doomed to believe for the rest of their lives that Halloween is one of the best holidays of the year and always look forward to it even when they're too old to trick-or-treat and they'll just end up disappointing themselves by just barely being broken-up with by their temporarily significant other which is statistically unavoidable based on my own experiences and what I've read. Halloween has become ruined by "growing up", but since part of "growing up" is gaining control over our lives, there's really nothing stopping us from salvaging what is debatably the greatest holiday of all time.
Teenagers replace trick-or-treating with parties that provide candy. I don't mind that.
ReplyDeleteBut isn't the candy so much sweeter when you have to earn it?
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of a reduced expectation of holidays, especially those in the last quarter of the year. Part of that is the 'growing up' part, but, as I age, I've found that the nostalgia of what once was is sweeter than that experience was in reality.
ReplyDeleteHigh school was that way. So was the mission. It's pretty cool whilst in, but the memories of it become more worthwhile than the gaining of them. Perhaps it's because we get to live with the memories forever, yet experience that moment only once.
Besides, my son's excitement for being Batman this weekend and to go trick-or-treating is infinitely more exciting than even my best Halloweens.
Yeah, I can imagine doing Halloween with your kids is much more exciting. Especially the looks on their faces when you show them their costume, or help them dress into them. :3
ReplyDeleteHey Matt, it's Krissy.
ReplyDeleteDon't be scared, I'm not here to yell at you.
Yeah, I know this is weird.
I googled your old screenname and found this. But I want to say I'm sorry. I said some pretty harsh stuff in the past, and it was just plain bitchy. So for that I'm truly sorry. If you don't want to forgive me I understand.
I want you to know, that party was completely spontaneous. I was spending my halloween with a friend, when suddenly everyone from Alicia's party walks downstairs to find me. Honestly it was kind of a bother, but I couldn't just kick them out.
Not that the whole party really matters...(besides, Brett put a giant hole in my wall.)
I'm pretty sure I saw you at Banzai last year. And that was awkward. I think if we ever come face to face again, we should just nod and go about our ways. No use in trying to fix something beyond repair.
I also want to explain something. (even though this comment is getting long.)
After we broke up, you thought I was ignoring you. I might've been a little bit, but I wasn't completely. Part of it was that you were sending me messages when I appeared online, but I was away from my computer.
So when you thought I was ignoring you, I just went with it. It was easier than dealing with any emotions that might've come up.
I deleted you because I was fed up. You wouldn't bother to talk to me in person about ignoring you, so I thought why should I bother?
I'm not trying to insult you here, I just wanted to explain what was going through my head at the time. Everything was so frustrating.
I'm sorry I made you feel alone.
Don't let anyone make you feel the way I made you feel again. It's not right.