tangents.

My blog – no, more like my life – has been incredibly low on the social side of things. For the blog, I haven't been receiving any feedback on it, online or otherwise, so it's felt like I've been talking to air for the past month or so. But that's simply a blog, and I don't feel like it's completely important to check up every day. They're simply thoughts, after all. Thoughts of a teenager keeping a record of his small thinks. However, in my everyday life, I feel like everyone's drifting away again. I say again, because the times this has happened before is after I've moved. Only this time, I've been in the same exact place I have been for the past year. Even when I did this last move, I still had friends and such to talk to daily simply because I moved a mere 10 minutes south. But now...



One reason this is happening, I believe, is because I haven't been making a personal effort to talk to them much. I've been going to college, and I got a job, so I've been busy with doing things myself lately. It also doesn't help that my computer was moved to my little brother's room, so I can't talk to anyone past 10 pm. I'll gladly answer a text or an email, but I just haven't been sparking up conversations much. I feel very alone right now. Not a "lonely" kind of alone (not yet, anyway), just a sense of independence that I've had to fall back onto in many points of my life. I'm tranquil when I'm self-dependent, because I do what I want without having to explain reasons why to anyone.

Lots of people can tell you my life's not very rhythmic or predictable, just because I'll randomly go off and try something simply out of curiosity. For example, at Anime Club, we were getting kinda hungry. Someone offered to drive people to Wendy's. Wendy's sounded good, but I chose to walk. Everyone needs a good walk every now and then, and this was a perfect time for one. I went there and came back in the same amount of time the others did, so it was simply a different experience; and a great one, at that. There were tons of birds fluttering around, collecting food and feeding their chicks. It was very entertaining to watch. I go out of the convenient way JUST for experiences like that. And I leave with unique memories.

Back on topic: At this point, though, I guess I really miss those friends I had just a few months ago. It's not like they're gone (well, one in particular is, for now...), but I haven't seen to them or even talked them for a while. I don't want it to turn into a permanent farewell. Possibly, with all of these new events in my life happening, I do have time for being social; I just don't know how to take opportunity of it. I'm focusing on my schooling and work because those are incredibly important right now. I don't want to offend any of my friends, though, and make them think I'm done with them.

Or, perhaps, they're simply done with me. There's always that possibility...